Limericks: Rated PG and Beyond

Limericks: they're easy to remember, easy to write and easy to share.  Well, some of them.

Let's start with a few you can easily share, nerdy and for (mostly) general consumption:

There was a young woman named Bright
Whose speed was much faster than light.
She set out one day
In a relative way,
And returned on the previous night.

There once was a man from Nantucket
whose walrus oh so luved its bukket.
One day walrus groaned,
it had just gotten pwned;
Said the lolcat "O HAI, I JUST TUK IT". 

There once was a man from Australia

Whose limericks were kind of a failure.

He'd be doing just fine

'Til he hit the last line

Then he'd — damn.

Here are a couple I'd consider more PG. Share with discretion, of course.

There once was a lady from Spain

Who got sick as she rode on a train.

Not once, but again

And again and again

And again and again and again.

There once was a woman named Claire

Who had a magnificent pair.

As I watched her one morn

They got caught on a thorn —

Then they, sadly, began losing some air.

What's a limerick post without dirty limericks? I hit a couple of websites and — well, let's just say I never considered using the name Robin Hood in quite that way before. I cannot print them here, but I can give you two websites for your viewing, er, pleasure:

• http://zillagorilla.tripod.com/zillagorilla/id16.html
• http://www.funlimericks.com/dirty-limericks.php

You get far beyond the Man from Nantucket, I assure you.

Thanks to Fun Limericks for most of these. You can decide if you'll thank the really dirty limerick sites.