Monday, September 14, 2009


Proof that poetry geeks have a sense of humor.

Note from Dave (of Little — Horror):

James McTeigue, director of "V for Vendetta" and the upcoming "Ninja Assassin," will direct "The Raven," a fictionalized account of the final five days of Edgar Allan Poe's life which sees Poe join the hunt for a serial killer whose murders are inspired by his stories.

So, since we know the film is fiction, what was Poe actually doing for the last days of his life?

The Top 9 Things Poe Was Doing in His Final Days

9.Three words: Time-traveling Goth chicks.

8. Hid a clock under his nosy landlady's floorboards and enjoyed the show.

7. Lying in the cellar, passed out in a puddle of amontillado.

6. Trying desperately to remember how he ended up in the back of the stables, sans trousers.

5. Composed an ode to a football franchise of the future.

4. Bricked up his neighbor behind a wall, just for old time's sake.

3. Let's just say that if PETA ever finds out what he did to that raven, there's gonna be trouble!

2. Drafting a legal memo justifying pendulum-blade-lowering and live burial as "outside the strict definition of torture."

and the Number 1 Thing Poe Was Doing in His Final Day...

1. Filling in for cartoonist Bil Keane during a particularly dark week of Family Circus.

(Now, go check out the Little Fiver lists available! There might be one with your name on it.)

Copyright 2009 by Chris White, courtesy Top Five

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